[scene: a Chevron gas station, pumps #8 and #10, Redwood City, California][I begin filling my tank, and a car pulls up behind me. I don't look up. I hear a man's voice, speaking lovingly to a child in the car.]
white male: Stay in the car, honey, Daddy's going to put some gas in the car.
A couple of minutes pass, then:
white male: Hey, I see your bumper stickers there. [pointing] What do you think of the whole Melissa thing?
me: hmm?
white male: [pointing] I saw your bumper stickers. What do you think about Melissa Etheridge?
..and neither is bigotry, or hatefulness, or fearwhite male: You know who she is, right?
me: Sure...
white male: (three-minute dissertation of some celebrity scandal involving a lover and child custody)
me: Oh. That's too bad.
white male: Yeah, well, I thought everybody knew about that. I mean, Melissa Etheridge! I saw your bumperstickers! [pointing]
This one came to me in a dream - I'm pretty sure it was the Holy Spirit.white male: I mean, it doesn't matter who you are, women, guys, we're all the same right?
me: [nodding] Yup.
white male: What she did - that's just wrong!
me: Yeah... I don't really know anything about it. I don't really pay attention to pop culture. [Hello? How many times do I have to say this?]
white male: Well, I was in The Business. So I know about this stuff.
me: [okaaaaaay...]
white male: I mean, guys or girls, it doesn't matter, right?
me: [finished pumping the gas, trying to get back in the car] Right. Doesn't matter, treat everyone with respect.
white male: [now shouting across the pumps] Well, you know what they say - opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one, and they all stink!
me: [gets in car, buckles up and leaves] What the heck was that??!
Dude, didja miss the Christian part of my message?!