I have developed certain patterns in my fumbling attempts to get up and out the door each morning workday. (It's actually true every morning, but certainly much worse when I need to be somewhere in the morning!) To my surprise, these appear to echo the Kübler-Ross stages of grief. Please allow me to illustrate.
Denial. This can begin as early as the night before, but usually occurs after the alarm first goes off. Despite the fact that I have barely left enough time to bathe, dress, eat and maybe pack a lunch before going out the door and facing the 12-mile, 40-minute drive through traffic into San Francisco that begins my day, I decide that I will really only need about 30 minutes for the process. No, 25. Wait - 20.
Bargaining. This is where the snooze alarm comes in. The reasoning behind hitting that snooze one more time looks a lot like denial (see above.)
Shock. This is what happens when I (a) sleep through the alarm/snooze, (b) manage to set the wrong time for waking, (c) set the right time for waking but neglect to turn the alarm on, or (d) miscalculate in the denial/bargaining phases. I will open my eyes to an inordinately bright sky, look at the clock, and then realize that I have exactly 5 minutes before I need to be out the door. Whoo, the adrenaline that courses through my veins when this happens could fuel ajet. locomotive. third grader through recess.
Acceptance. I get out of bed.
Depression. I realize I cannot go back to bed if I want to maintain my status as a functioning adult. I stumble around, bleary-headed, trying to remember how to dress myself and where I put my shoes. Caffeine helps this, but it usually does not have time to kick in before I leave the house (because I've only left myself 20 - no, wait - 15 minutes to get ready). Then, when it does kick in, I feel better but I also have to pee.
Anger. I'm fairly slow to anger in general, but when I need to get through those 12 miles in 30minutes,please,dammit,Idon'tHAVE45minutesforthiscommute! Well, things can get a little testy. Words like "stupid" and "idiot" and "move it!" might pass my lips.
Guilt. This is what happens when it sinks in that I am, indeed, going to be late for work. Not only that, but it's my own darned fault for being so foolish and indulging in the denial and bargaining that brought me to this state. Again.
I really wonder: what would life be like if I were a morning person?
I've seen a heckuva lot more sunsets than sunrises, that's for sure!
Denial. This can begin as early as the night before, but usually occurs after the alarm first goes off. Despite the fact that I have barely left enough time to bathe, dress, eat and maybe pack a lunch before going out the door and facing the 12-mile, 40-minute drive through traffic into San Francisco that begins my day, I decide that I will really only need about 30 minutes for the process. No, 25. Wait - 20.
Bargaining. This is where the snooze alarm comes in. The reasoning behind hitting that snooze one more time looks a lot like denial (see above.)
Shock. This is what happens when I (a) sleep through the alarm/snooze, (b) manage to set the wrong time for waking, (c) set the right time for waking but neglect to turn the alarm on, or (d) miscalculate in the denial/bargaining phases. I will open my eyes to an inordinately bright sky, look at the clock, and then realize that I have exactly 5 minutes before I need to be out the door. Whoo, the adrenaline that courses through my veins when this happens could fuel a
Acceptance. I get out of bed.
Depression. I realize I cannot go back to bed if I want to maintain my status as a functioning adult. I stumble around, bleary-headed, trying to remember how to dress myself and where I put my shoes. Caffeine helps this, but it usually does not have time to kick in before I leave the house (because I've only left myself 20 - no, wait - 15 minutes to get ready). Then, when it does kick in, I feel better but I also have to pee.
Anger. I'm fairly slow to anger in general, but when I need to get through those 12 miles in 30minutes,please,dammit,Idon'tHAVE45minutesforthiscommute! Well, things can get a little testy. Words like "stupid" and "idiot" and "move it!" might pass my lips.
Guilt. This is what happens when it sinks in that I am, indeed, going to be late for work. Not only that, but it's my own darned fault for being so foolish and indulging in the denial and bargaining that brought me to this state. Again.
I really wonder: what would life be like if I were a morning person?
I've seen a heckuva lot more sunsets than sunrises, that's for sure!
2 comments:
Wish I could think of a magical way to help you get out of bed - but I can't. I get up because my dogs need to be walked. I'd loan you one, but somehow that's just not a solution for you! :-)
... ebullience in the early am never gained me one friend. Possibly even lost a few roommates unless I had a studio or took it outside.
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