kill the beast...

... or: things I've (re-)learned about URIs this week

1.  If an enormous yellow cloud of pollen literally envelops you while you are simply minding your own business, drop everything and head for the nearest shower.

2.  While you're at it, rinse out those sinuses really, really well.

3.  If you have one of those afternoons where you lock your keys in the car, can't find an open restroom, and then drop your phone in the sink, all within an hour, consider locking yourself inside until the storm passes honey, 'cause it's comin'.

4.  Use every trick in the book.  Even if it might not help.  Rinse, spray, inhale, vaporize, decongest, and anti-inflame until you drop.  

5.  When you drop, go to bed, and stay there.

6.  When you wake up with one side of your sinuses completely blocked, and your face is grotesquely misshapen and one eye is nearly shut, don't panic.  Not yet, anyway.

7.   When your sinus cavities are filled with cement and nothing will move it, call the doctor, because all bets are off for home remedies, and you are doomed. 

8.  At some point, take your temperature because everyone you talk to will ask if you have a fever.

9.  When you go to see the doctor, be polite.  It's not her fault you're sick.  Try to sound intelligent (because you are) without being dismissive (because that doesn't help).  Be specific and descriptive of the things you've tried so she knows you know what you're talking about.  If she doesn't respect that and enter into an intelligent conversation with you, go talk to someone else.

10.  When the medical treatment is having no effect, and it's Friday, and you're actually getting worse, call the doctor.  Don't take no for an answer, and don't take "you need to come in again" for an answer, either.  Hold out, and they will eventually give you what you need.

11.  Keep lots of liquids in the house.  Herbal tea is a nice break.  Just keep drinking.

12.  It's fun to make fun of yourself when speaking to other singers, because your voice is at least an octave lower than usual.

13.  Laughing will always make you cough, so just be ready.

14.  It pays to spring for the softest kleenex possible, and get it by the case at Costco, because it is not in the least bit difficult to go through three full boxes in as many days.

15.  Even if you don't feel like cooking, get into that kitchen and make some Chinese penicillin.  It's nothing fancy, but you will be so glad you did.  Even if you'd rather stay curled up on the couch, all bundled up and cozy, get off your arse and make it. Now.

Hot and Sour Soup, KQ-style

4-6 cups (a fairly large pot) water

3 chicken bouillon cubes, or about 1 per cup-and-a-half of water

1-2 tsp white pepper

¼ cup white vinegar

3 cloves garlic, minced (I use the Trader Joe's frozen garlic cubes)

1 tsp minced cilantro, to taste (TJ's has frozen cubes for this, too)

fresh sliced mushrooms, to taste

fresh sliced green onion, to taste

frozen dumplings (again, TJ's to the rescue!)

sesame oil

yeah, I'm out of fresh veg.  they turned while I wasn't looking.

Boil water.  Add bouillon and pepper.  Cook for a minute or two.  Add vinegar, garlic, cilantro and veggies.  Simmer for 5 minutes, adjust to taste (but remember that the broth should be REALLY spicy and vinegary, so don't go erring on the too-gentle side.)  Add the dumplings, bring to a boil and cook for 2 minutes more.  Drizzle with oil, to taste.  Be well.

Christian Politics

I've been using an online Lenten devotion this season.  I have been pretty faithful to it, no small feat for me, and I am glad for that.  This week's theme is "Vulnerability", and today's scripture is Luke 4:5-8, about the time when Jesus was in the desert for 40 days before beginning his ministry:

priestlyrant.wordpress.com/

Then the devil led him up and showed him in an instant all the kingdoms of the world.  And the devil said to him, "To you I will give their glory and all this authority; for it has been given over to me, and I give it to anyone I please.  If you, then, worship me, it will all be yours."  Jesus answered him, "It is written, 'Worship the Lord your God, and worship only him.'"

When I first remember hearing this passage, in adolescence probably, I thought that the devil had shown Jesus all of the kingdoms of the world of his time - what we think of as ancient times.  I did not yet think about or realize that God is not confined by time, and I probably was thinking of the story more of a history lesson than a spiritual one.  

Now I believe that this story is probably saying that Jesus was shown all kingdoms; past, present and future.  To me, this means that Jesus saw what it would be like to rule our world, too, every country, every government.  China.  Somalia.  Denmark.  Great Britain.  Afghanistan.  The United States.

[It's a paradox to me, because I do believe that God in Jesus (or by whatever name we understand God) is sovereign on Earth, Creator of all we know and all that we don't know.  On the other hand, Jesus rejected that sovereignty in this story - at least, as it was presented to him by the devil.  Perhaps this means that although God is ruler of all whether we acknowledge God or not, God lets us choose to acknowledge Jesus - or whatever name we understand - and does not insist on it.  Thank God!]

Another thing that I missed in this story when I was young is the part where the devil says, "I will give their glory and all this authority; for it has been given over to me, and I give it to anyone I please."  Interesting, isn't it, that here we hear that the devil actually was given (presumably, by God) authority over every kingdom.  I just kind of skipped over that part every time I read this story.

www.sodahead.com

So this is how my mind wandered to politics today when I read this passage - if Jesus was shown every "kingdom", including the US in that moment of temptation... if Jesus rejected all authority over our nation... if the devil has the glory and authority over every nation, including ours, and is free to give it away to anyone [he?] pleases... then I really don't understand how any Christian, fundamentalist or otherwise, can hope for Jesus to have authority over our nation.  Or any nation.  After all, our book - the Word of God as they/we know it - says that the devil has this authority and Jesus rejects it.

To me, this means that anyone who claims to be working for the dominion of Christ over anyone but themselves either doesn't understand scripture (admittedly, in the way I understand it) or is actually working for the devil.  Which is kind of how I view Christian conservatism in this country.

To me, any Christian person who, by their word or deed does anything to turn another away from Christ is not doing the Lord's work. ("If any of you put a stumbling block before one of these little ones who believe in me, it would be better for you if a great millstone were hung around your neck and you were thrown into the sea." Mark 9:42, full context here.) This includes exclusion of any group, campaigns against any legitimate freedom of expression or belief, and any personal offense towards another human while representing Jesus.  And every Christian, by definition, represents Jesus to the rest of the world.  I am certainly guilty of some of these sins, though not by intention. However, to actively pursue the exclusion of a group, or legitimate freedom or belief, to make that exclusion an essential tenet of your belief system, is the devil's work.

it's on Amazon...

Perhaps this is why conservative Christian dogma offends me so.  Their loud, offensive, hurtful, belligerent claims to be the exclusive keepers of Jesus are not just annoying.  It is that when they claim to represent Christ with that point of view, they are doing spiritual violence against all people, including themselves.  It is because when people hear their claims - especially since they are very, very loud - people believe that this view is what all Christians believe.

But here's hope: the politics of the conservative right wing is beginning to change, oh-so-slowly.  Some of their people are actually coming out for equal rights for LGBT people.  It's a start.  Why, just yesterday someone who was once a close friend contacted me and apologized for writing me off as a non-Christian because of my political beliefs and LGBT-positive stance.

I thank God for these changes, and pray for more, so that the spiritual violence ends.

And I remember, when all is said and done, that Love always wins.

All images found on Google; no copyright infringement intended.

One at a time...

This has begun making the rounds on Facebook. It seems to me that it was going around last November, too, so I'm not sure this is current, but a cursory investigation indicates that this is truly Nordstrom's annual policy.  

 It's getting a lot of play (and is very popular.)  Here's my 2¢.

About 15 years ago, I was working near Union Square in San Francisco. (Nightmare job - but that's another story!) It was my birthday - October 3.  It was about 85º outside, a beautiful Indian Summer day.  I was amazed and appalled when, looking up at the huge Macy's facing the square, every single window was decorated with a Christmas wreath.  October third. 

Fast forward to about 5 years ago, same location in mid-October: no Xmas decor!  Why?

I think it's because they have found a way to cash in on Halloween.  It is a BIG money-maker for retailers now.  Not just candy and costumes - orange and purple lights! glittered pumpkins! enormous inflatable lawn decorations! life-sized zombies! bodies hanging from trees! (Yes, really, and right at the end of my block.  Very disturbing.)  Retailers have monetized Halloween.  Weird, but at least by having a profitable holiday between Labor Day and Christmas, we have been saved from sights like the above windows before it's time to put away the sleeveless shirts.  Now all that red and green stuff comes out on November 1, along side the 30% off (really, Target? not 50%?) Snickers and M&M's.

This new trend thrills me, actually.  I don't buy into elaborate Halloween decor - at most, I'll buy a couple of those cute little pumpkins.  If they're active in October, I am usually more invested in what is happening with the Giants.

So here's my idea on how to further push retailers' cashing in on Christmas back to Advent:  Let's monetize Thanksgiving!  Just think of it: Giant inflatable turkeys, cornucopias and pilgrims. Elaborate light shows in amber and orange. Strands of oversized faux colorful leaves streaming from car antennae.  Politically correct t-shirts commemorating Native Americans' oppression.  Books about gratitude written by Justin Beiber and the New Jersey housewives.

I won't buy into that, either.  (Well, okay, maybe a t-shirt.)  But if it catches on, maybe more retailers will follow Nordstrom's lead and save the joy of Christmastime for December.  Wouldn't it be nice to walk into a store decked out in Christmas decorations and think, "wow, how wonderful!" instead of "oh crap! already?!"

**None of the above images are mine.  Any copyright infringement is unintentional.  Please contact me if these images are yours, and I will remove them.

we interrupt this blog...

... the design features of blogger are beginning to mystify me. this doesn't look the way I want, but I have to fix it later!

we interrupt our regular programming...

On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... food poisoning! Recovery is imminent, but no caroling for me today. Be back soon!

on the bright side

On the day before Thanksgiving I was at work, doing my usual stellar job of tending to the eyeball patients. A "frequent flyer", a blind woman who is in the midst of multiple surgeries, came in for her pre-op exam, and her young-adult son accompanied her. I ushered them in and shut the door, and only then did I notice that he was sniffling and snuffling and then SNEEZING and COUGHING without covering his face. In a very small space. Just spitting it out into the air we were all breathing.

Yuck.

I left the room momentarily, and brought back a mask for him to put on. He sneezed a few more times before he got it on (I should have just put it on myself!) It was too late, of course. In exactly 3.2 days, I had his cold and it was kicking my butt.
Thanks, dude.

++++++++++++++++++++

Okay, but here's the thing. I decided I was not going to let this get me down. Rather than dwell in the misery of it all, I started thinking of the up side:

• I was not sick for Thanksgiving.
• I may have been sick on December 1st, but that will be long gone by December 21st.
• I have so far, through the intervention of many, many foreign substances, managed to avoid any respiratory infection. It's just a cold.
• While I was not able to call in sick any day this week (long story) my boss sent me home early on Tuesday and Wednesday, so I didn't have to kill myself (much) working while feeling like crap.

And ya know what? It helped. I'm still really congested, but I worked a whole day today and then went to get some dinner and do some shopping. I'm really tired, but I made it. And tomorrow will be fine, too. I may not get to go to the Advent festival AND the progressive dinner, but that will be okay.

see? not Grumpy!

I just love it when that happens.

None of the images in this post are mine. That should be obvious, but now I've confirmed it. Thanks, Google images!

s.n.a.f.u.

(Generally speaking, I don't enjoy reading about the minutiae of tech stuff, and I know that complaints are tedious in general. However, in the interest of healthy venting, I offer the following.)

Task for the evening: get my .mac account (now called MobileMe - why?) reinstated, up and running.

1. Click on the old .mac link, where I know I can set up my account again (I've tried it a few times recently, but my slow connection thwarted my attempts. Or so I've thought.)
2. Follow the steps, confirm info, send credit card info.
3. Wait for confirmation.
4. And wait.
5. And wait.
6. Contact Apple support for MobileMe. After clearing my cache and a few other basic things, the dude can't explain why it's not working.
7. Switch browser (was on Firefox, go back to Safari), try again.
8. My version of Safari does not support that site any longer. The site suggests Firefox.
   
9. Attempt Safari upgrade.
   
10. Safari cannot be updated on my operating system.
11. Attempt upgrade of my OS to the final version available to me (Tiger v. 10.4.11, if you must know).
12. Download v. 10.4.11.
13. Still 7% progress after 20 minutes.
    
14. Quit download, reboot.
15. Download v. 10.4.11
16. Success!
17. Open v. 10.4.11
18. "Mac OS X Update Combined (PowerPC) cannot be installed on this computer".
19. Double check that I downloaded the version meant for my mac.
    
20. check.
21. Attempt to contact Apple support.
22. DSL connection starts blinking off. on. off. on.
23. off.
24. beat head against keyboard.
25. sigh heavily.
26. repeat.