transcendence

The Bethany Quartet, at our 20th Anniversary (and only) Recital

I have done some singing in my life.  I have an okay voice.  It has never been strong - and lack of use and middle age has not helped that.  It has rarely been confident - aside from a brief, egotistic period in my high school days, I do not like to sing in public without at least three other people around me.  But I don't have to! 

The "Bay Belles" in the early-mid 80's

I know some extraordinary singers.  I have been blessed to meet, sing, and grow friendships with the owners of some remarkable voices.  Outside of family, I believe that I can trace every significant relationship and event in my life to singing.  I met the father of my children in choir.  I met each of my closest friends singing.  I came back to church in my 20's because of someone I met in choir.  I met my soul mate in choir.

It began in high school, this singing-makes-friends thing that has really been central to my life.  It was there that I was first exposed to the joy that is acapella singing.  It continued in early adulthood, as I joined an acapella group - we sang chamber music in Renaissance garb, and called ourselves "The Schleptet" - which formed out of the local community college. 

a reunion photo of some of the Schleptet (and our kids)

Four of the men in that group were in a barbershop quartet, so three of the women and I formed our own quartet. (This is where I first learned that long talks and sharing our lives together during rehearsal is just as important as singing!)  When the Schleptet sang together, it was sublime.  Rehearsal time was intimate, in somebody's living room, standing in a circle.  We'd quit goofing around and begin to sing, to each other really, watching the beat, eyeing each other for cues and cutoffs. 

Sometimes it was all I could do to just close my eyes and absorb the amazing, transcendent sound of 10 people, each singing a different harmony.  Talk about soaring.

The Bethany Quartet on a road trip in 2000

As those groups grew up and faded away, a new singing era began for me, at church.  We formed a women's quartet - inspiringly named "The Bethany Quartet", ha! - just over 25 years ago.  I also joined the choir, and have participated off and on over the last few decades.  More recently, my quartet and a men's quartet have joined forces.  The "Super Quartet" is the latest incarnation for me of the ability to make transcendent music with only the human voice.  Oh, my goodness, it is heaven to sing with those seven people.

We had a rehearsal just the other night.  Unfortunately, one of us is having voice troubles.  We sat around a table and discussed what to do.  The conversation was laden with love, respect, and humor.  We came away deciding that we would not sing together for a while, to allow that one voice to heal.  This was a sad conclusion to reach, but we know that we will sing together again.  We left the building, stepping out into a balmy, pre-Spring evening. I stopped to listen as we each called out quietly to the others our good nights, reminders of the next time we would meet, that sort of thing.  It all seemed so dear, it made me tear up a bit.

I love these people so much, I said to God.  Thank you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

NPR has a series called "Tiny Desk Concerts".  When I clicked on this one from the Minnesota group Cantus, it captured perfectly for me the essence of the intimacy that singing together brings.  This is not something you will see in a concert hall.  Watch how they look at each other, how they curl around each other, their body language when they are singing, and when they are not.  This is bliss.

lemonade

So. I finally looked at the pictures that have been in my camera for two weeks, ever since the 2011 Q Fambly Campout. (It was a tender, lovely, cohesive and a little-bit strange weekend. But mostly wonderful.)

Not all of the photos turned out well. Like this one:

(click on any image to enlarge)

It's okay, but just kind of... boring. So I played with the editing feature on iPhoto, and ended up with a kind of painterly image that I actually like a lot:

See? like someone painted it with vibrant colors and a splashy style

There are also people shots that didn't turn out well. I'm going to blame the bright light and shadows... fair or not, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

too far away, out of focus, and the faces are unclear

Here are my son A. and my cousin's daughter F. They are, naturally, talking about playing baseball. Or probably whiffle ball. There are roughly 24 years between them, but they love each other and played like cousins - because that is who they are. Editing the photo in a similar fashion to the example above, I got a cartoony, drawn effect that I also like.

here, the above faults are not an issue, because now we what we see is their familiar, fond body language.
Not to mention: they are luminous!

17 things I've learned...

... about being a wedding florist...

1. The bride will have some theme or color scheme in mind before the process starts. Learn what this is. If possible, get a fabric swatch (or photo, or internet link) of the dresses and/or suits.
2. Set seasonal guidelines. Peonies don't bloom in the fall, and Dahlias do not bloom in spring.
3. Help the bride remember details. Will there be flowers at the venue? Where? Do the parents need flowers? Does the officiant? Is there a flower girl or ring bearer? How old are they? Will the bride or her attendants use a flower/flowers in her hair? What about the reception?
4. Discuss budget ahead of time, and stick to it. Even if this is a labor of love, nobody likes expensive surprises.
5. Make detailed lists. How many bouquets? boutonnieres? How many pieces to each?
6. Take the bride to the flower market a couple of weeks before the wedding. It helps if she brings a friend or her mom, to keep her grounded a little - the flower market can be a bit overwhelming!
7. Use this excursion to really learn about the bride. What flowers does she love? Or hate? Is there a must-have quirky detail that she likes? A color that she absolutely does not want? Pro or con on baby's breath?
   
8. Order any must-have, important flowers 2 weeks ahead of time. Use a reliable vendor, and strike a good deal.
9. Do the non-floral work ahead of time: buy ribbon, gather supplies, clean and disinfect buckets, set up a work station.
10. Make sure your clippers and scissors are sharp.
    
11. Get some help. Even if help is mostly there for moral support, that's going to be priceless to you. Plus: it's really hard to wrap a bouquet by yourself. Also, delivery is easier with some help!
12. Learn in advance the couple's wishes for delivery. Where will they be, and at what time? Pin them down on this detail.
13. Get some good rest during the week before the wedding. (You may be working very long hours on the wedding day and the day before!) Eat right, and drink lots of water.
14. Use a silverware caddy to transport the bouquets in small glasses of water.
15. Be early.
16. Bring supplies to the venue: extra ribbon, clippers, towels, flowers, floral wire and glue... be ready for anything to break or fall apart.
17. Relax! They asked you to do the flowers because they like your work. Plus: this is really fun.
    

I've only done two weddings; I am far (very, very far) from an expert, and I have a lot to learn! Still, some lessons are more hard-won than others. No point in squandering these, so it's good to make notes!

Spring is here!

brilliant

Spent some time on my day off Thursday with my sister. The evening before, with a dear friend whose calling seems to be listening intently. Apparently, all is not lost, even in this dry land.When it rains in the dessert, miracles can happen.

unfocused

Unfocused am I, that's for dang sure. Whether it's organizing my day at home, figuring out relationships at work, keeping any semblance of a spiritual life, managing money, seeing to eating good foods and getting exercise - none of it is exactly honed in.

And yet - the faithful part of me adds - there is beauty in there. Underneath the fuzzy lack of clarity, sheer beauty.

tulip and stock "leftovers" from a Sunday arrangement

Must. Focus.

love, KQ

Lenten journeys

I like keeping a page-a-day calendar in the kitchen. It's fun to tear off that page, read the new day's message - it's kind of a ritual. I usually get Mary Engelbriet's calender, and it is always a comforting, wise and/or cute way to start the day. This year I thought I'd try something different. I bought one with a pretty photo and a scripture passage on each page. Well, the scripture is in tiny white lettering on a light green background - wait, let me get my glasses - ha! And the photos... well, they're pretty, all right. But into the second week of January, I caught on to something. (Hey, wait a minute...) Every photo was of a path. Or a road. Or a trail. Or a road. Every stinking picture was a metaphor for "journey". 300+ photos of the same thing? That's a little too much for me!

There are so many "journey" metaphors for Lent. I'm not going to list them here - not that I could possibly undertake such a task. Like all travelers, sometimes we need a little help along the way. I posted on Facebook last week a request for on-line or podcast Lenten reflections. (I was actually hoping for podcasts, as that would have worked well into my resolve to start walking for excercise again. Alas, I've yet to hear of or find one.)

I got two suggestions, and actually found a third. One of the suggestions - forgive me, Crickl - just seemed more complex than I could manage this time around. But this one is working for me. And this one intrigues me. Plus, there's always this (good year-round, actually).

a journey of opening...

love, KQ

oh, there you are.

Poor, little neglected blog.

I guess I just haven't felt much like writing these days. Work has been brutal - literally - and it takes a few hours and all of my energy to recover from each day's ordeal. Not fun.

Still, though. I don't mean to abandon this, so I've come up with an idea. For Lent*, I'll just post a pretty picture. Hopefully, one you've not seen before. Maybe a few words, but at least a photograph. Here's the first one:

beautiful, fragrant paperwhites in my garden

*yes, I realize that we are already a week into Lent. Shh.

love, KQ

Solstice

from this source

Did you see it? Last week, the full moon occurred on the Winter Solstice - and then, to top it off, it eclipsed. Like, totally. What an amazing confluence of cosmic events: it has not happened since the early 17th century, and it shan't happen again until 2094 - I don't intend to be around for that one! I do not necessarily believe that the things that happen in the sky influence my earth-bound behavior. However, I am a big fan of natural events and good timing, not to mention being a big fan of the Creator of such events.

I almost missed it - I thought it was going to be on the evening of the 21st, but (in this time zone) it happened at about 11:30 on the evening of the 20th. (I'm so glad I was paying attention!) It was raining on and off, so I was also unsure that anything would be visible in the heavens... but the sky cleared, and I ventured outside around 11:15. I wasn't sure where to look, so I just went out to the courtyard of my building - there are no great views of the sky there, but I didn't really know where the moon would be in the sky at that time. All I needed was to look up: there she was, directly over my head.

http://mantoos.com/science/winter-solstice

So beautiful. So strange.

Not long after totality was reached, the clouds returned and hid the moon. (I felt some relief to be going inside - my neck ached from tipping my head back so far!) My constant companion, my iPod, was with me as I watched bella luna... playing selections from the many versions of Windham Hill's Winter Solstice recordings. It is an Advent tradition for me to begin my Christmas music listening with these albums recordings. They relax and inspire meditation in me, and I play them often. So of course, I had the Windham Hill playlist going as I dashed outside into the cold. It was a perfect companion.

P.S. ~ it's the fourth day of Christmas!

the bleak midwinter

snowflake stars are cut from silvery origami paper

Today is the third day of Christmas. I seem to have spent the first two days (and, possibly, the day before that) dining exclusively on cookies. This behavior must stop ~ my body is craving vegetables, meat and milk at this point. Back to work now, that shouldn't be a problem.
This song is one of my very favorites to sing in Advent and Christmas. It is also one of the very favorites of the Bethany Quartet ~ and I sure missed singing this, and any Christmas music with them this year! The first time I ever heard In the Bleak Midwinter was in Julie Andrew's holiday special in 1987, hence the video link above. (Click on it, click on it! It's so good. Not only was Ms. Andrews the star, but her guests were Placido Domingo, the King's Singers and John Denver ~ certainly all-stars in my music library.)

There is nothing I do not love about this song:

In the bleak midwinter frosty wind made moan
Earth stood hard as iron, water like a stone
Snow had fallen, snow on snow,
snow on snow.
In the bleak midwinter long, long ago.
Angels and archangels may have gathered there.
Cherubim and seraphim thronged the air.
But his mother only, in her her maiden bliss,
worshiped the beloved with a kiss.

What then shall I give him, poor as I am?
If I were a shepherd I would bring a lamb.
If I were a wise man I would do my part.
Yet what I can, I give him: I will give my heart.

It's that last verse. As a person of little means (as far as this society is concerned), it gives me pause - and hope. Whenever I have a meager offering to bring, this verse runs through my head and I feel comfort. It is no small thing to give from the heart - in fact, it is the only gift that matters.

this flake, and those above, were "cut" with an iPhone app, "the Flake Factory"!

change...

a most intricate quilt

I really, really love the transition seasons.

fall makes me want to live in a small country town.
(but so does spring. and winter. and summer.)

This week I knew that fall was finally here when the temps rose over eighty (F) and then dropped to the high forties in the space of a day and a half. I was trying to figure out why I love that so much...

rainbows are everywhere when you know where to look...

I think it's the fresh, sting of cold when one walks outside from the warmth of home - the warmth lingers in the body, but the skin tingles with the chill. It's a delicious feeling to me. And then the reverse is also true: cold, cold skin (and/or fingers, toes, nose...)feels the immediate change moving indoors, and there is that tingle again as the comforting warmth envelops...

jewels that fall to the earth and then dissolve into it...

Oh, and the wet of rain, the slant of the sun, the changing (finally!) leaves and impossibly blue sky... for all these things, and more, I give thanks.

let's find more time to go wandering this season!

the Summer of twenty-ten (part VI) - in Memoriam

September 24

Twelve days after the wedding, a memorial service was held for the Bullis family. The Quartet was asked to sing, as well as the choir and the Prayz group. Our four living former pastors were invited to attend, and accepted. An army of ushers was formed.

Because Bethany holds 200 people at most, and estimates were that there would be five times that in attendance, we had a logistics problem. Enter 1st Presbyterian Church of Burlingame. They have a much, much larger sanctuary, with overflow rooms and even a large patio where the service could be broadcast to more overflow. The pastors worked things out, and we were told where and when to show up. When we did, it was amazing: all we needed to do was make the music. The church had thought of everything, took care of every detail from printing the bulletin - to helping with the sound check - to setting up rooms for the family, pastors and musicians to wait - to passing out water during the (quite warm) service. They were warm and gracious, unobtrusive yet enveloping. I know that the Bethany community will always be grateful for their hospitality.

Like the Sunday following the disaster, there was a feeling of family coming together. So many people from Bethany's past showed up to love and grieve with us. The pastors shared themselves without reservation, and what a comfort it was to have the rock of their presence. (The current pastoral circumstance is far from comforting, which made this even more important.) The choir sang an arrangement of "Amazing Grace" (Sung here by the Turtle Creek Chorale). The Quartet sang Bobby McFerrin's the 23rd Psalm. T. played his composition, Elegy in Eb, on the cello. The family shared with us precious memories of each loved one. A few close friends also shared memories. There was nothing about the afternoon that was not beautiful.

After the service there was a reception at Will's high school, just a mile or so from the church. (Attendees of the service were encouraged to park at the school, and buses were used to transport to the church.) It was held in the gym, with long tables spread with food down half the length of the gym under unreal, yellow lights. I got there late (took Mom home first, at her request), and had little opportunity to speak with the family. However, I did speak to a few of their neighbors - other folks from Bethany, who survived the blast - and I was so grateful to hug them and tell them that I was glad they had made it.

Winding down, T. and I sat out on the front lawn of the school, looking at the moon and replaying the previous few days and amazing event we'd just been part of. (This is part of what we do for each other: help one another to digest the big events in our lives.) I remember thinking that I was so grateful (there's that word again!) for the relationships I hold with the many dear friends I saw that day. I thought about how the grass felt on my bare legs, and when was the last time I sat on the grass? I remembered my own high school days. I thought about how - even in the midst of terrible sorrow - it was, truly, a perfect evening.

the Summer of twenty-ten (part V)

I ask you: could there be a more lovely setting?

After church on Easter, my dear friend's daughter Piper approached me. Her mama had alerted me that the question was coming: would I be the florist for her wedding? A whole range of emotions swept through me at the thought. Holy cow. What a huge responsibility! and honor! and challenge! I'm not really a florist! I love flowers! (I need the money!) I said yes. When I agreed to take the job, I had no idea what was in store for the summer. When Dad got sick(er) I'd think, "can I bear this and do Piper's flowers?" Somehow, the answer was always yes.

sunflowers: the bride's favorite, and such a cheerful flower!

Piper and I corresponded over the summer, and I learned that she was definitely not going to be a bridezilla (thank heaven!) Like her mama, she is an easy-going spirit. The wedding site was found and Sunday, September 12 was chosen. She wanted happy, bright colors with sunflowers, lavender and poppies; an overall wildflower look. (The poppies were nixed - it was an evening wedding, and they close at night!) She was going to have six (SIX!) bridesmaids, each dressed in a different color, and her betrothed would have six groomsmen.

(Frankly, I thought this was a bit excessive when I heard about it, but at the wedding I realized: there was so much love in this wedding that there had to be 12 attendents, just to help carry it all!)

I planned out what I'd need for 7 bouquets, 10 boutonnieres, 2 corsages and 2 flower girl baskets. One fun Saturday morning, I met Piper, her sister and mama and best friend at the flower market. We wandered around, and I showed them a few things, they showed me what they liked: sunflowers (gold), bachelor's buttons (blue), hydrangea (green), sweet william (her betrothed's name) (hot pink), an ornamental grass, and gold and red "brains" (cock's comb) were some of the favorites.

I had my own mini-flower market going in the garage...

I added some veronica, red gerberas and purple sweet peas to fill out the (extensive) color palatte.

Oh, how I LOVE sweetpeas! These had pretty short stems -
couldn't make it into the bride's bouquet - but they sure were purty in the others!

Some feathers caught my eye... perfect for the men's boutonnieres! Piper was not at all sure about that, but when I explained it to her, she was on board. It was all coming together, and I was alternately nerve-wracked and excited.

pheasant feathers, dried lavender and satin ribbon. classy, no?

The weekend before the wedding, I assembled all of my hardware: preservative, wire, foam, pins, ribbons, glue - everything I could find that might help. I scrubbed down and disinfected with bleach an army of plastic buckets. I pre-ordered the sunflowers and bachelor's buttons. Unable to secure fresh lavender stems, I not only bought 3 live plants, but I also moved on a hot tip and (ditching church) high-tailed it to a farmer's market 25 miles away where I could buy nice bundles of the dried herb.

yeah, I'm a mite bit proud of these...
even the father of the bride complimented me on them,
and he (to quote a breakfast cereal commercial) hates everything!

That week, I was fully ready with my checklists and time tables. I made all the bouts, since all but three would not have any fresh flowers in them - and those I could easily add to later. Thursday, my day off, was September 9. I went to the markets and gathered up the flowers. Armloads of them - my entire back seat was brimming with blooms! They all went to my parents' garage - where it stays relatively cool even on a hot day - to get fresh cuts and plunged into preservative-laden water. I set up a couple tables and some chairs...

the workshop. flower baskets and bouts
in the foreground, oodles of blooms, everywhere!

And then, it was 6:11 p.m. and San Bruno exploded.

Again, I said to myself, "can I bear this and do Piper's flowers"? The answer: "you must, so of course you can". That's fine and dandy, but now I was not only grieving, but the power was out and I was instantly about a half-day behind schedule. Saturday dawned warm and bright. I worked in the morning, then went to the wedding rehearsal - oh yeah, the Quartet was singing, too! My dear friend B. came back with me (thanks, B!) to help, and gallantly made herself useful while I spinned out of control for a bit. Then we got to work and banged out six beautiful bridesmaids bouquets. I finished the bride's bouquet, made the "centerpiece" and cleaned up for the night, placing the bouquets in ice chests.

bridesmaids bouquets

Sunday morning - wedding day! According to my master schedule, I was going to skip church, but with the events of 9/9 I could not do that. I had to be with my people. I also could not afford the 2 hours it would require to attend - there were bouquets to wrap, bouts to finish, corsages to make... I did what I had to do, and when I got to church, I looked for volunteers to help with the finishing touches afterward. I found three lovely friends to agree, Jenny jumped in - doing a yeoman's job - as my assistant for the day, and Mom helped too!

bridesmaids bouquets and centerpiece

Oh, what a flurry of flowers, friends and activity there was in the garage that afternoon! Six of us, plus T., who came to look at the structural requirements of the centerpiece (I was so worried about hanging that thing!) With barely enough time, Mom and J. offered to take pictures of the finished product while I dashed home to change... and we were off!

I couldn't figure out how we were going to transport the bouquets,
except in drinking glasses. But those fall down!
I sent J. to the church to pick up a couple of dish pans.
She found these wonderful silverware holders and saved the day!

Delivered the flowers and bouts - to wild acclaim. Realized that the corsages had been forgotten back at the house - but because of a terrible traffic accident, we couldn't get back. A quick call to B. and her hub K., and they graciously agreed to pick them up on their way. Went to the site, got to work on hanging the centerpiece. It worked! (Okay, so it had to be hung a couple of different times, and J. did the ladder work, and then K. helped to make it hang higher, and all right some of the flowers fell out, but I had this great glue that works on wet foam... so it all worked out!)

all's well in the end, right?

So: the project of the flowers was a blessing in that it was an urgent distraction from our grief - a place to look away for a short time, to catch our breath before moving further into mourning. The women who helped me were each grateful for the distraction too - working with our hands to make something beautiful, in the company of loving sisters, can only be good. And I am oh, so grateful to them for their help. It takes a village, indeed. The wedding was a joyful island in a sea of sorrow, and it was buoyant enough to carry us all along for a few days; blessed relief.

The following photos were taken by Piper's wedding photographer, Jeremy Young

flower girl basket, filled with lavender

the groom, sporting his feather-and-"brains" bout

of course, the bride

I was SO happy to see that the colors in the
bouquets matched the girls' dresses perfectly!