Christmastide: day five (a temporary setback)

No gold rings today...

I might have been suspicious when it took over three hours to come up with some decent flowers Saturday afternoon. (Poor planning? Foul mood? nope; don't think so...) Then I had to - had to - go to bed before 10. Dragged myself to church, mostly because Glenda Hope was preaching (never turn down the opportunity to hear a saint preach), but also because I had to arrange the afore-mentioned (semi-decent) flowers. Came home, couldn't even imagine making my own lunch. Crashed on the couch. Woke three hours later, but only because I set an alarm.

Thus, I have spent the fifth day of Christmas either asleep in bed or here, in the Chair of Doom. Still in my jammies. I did manage a shower, but I don't know if that pile of laundry is going to get any shorter soon. I'm sure I'll feel fine tomorrow... and it's a short week... no problem.

Christmastide: day 4, My Favorite Things

I'm sure my readers (both of you) are intensely interested in this list. Aren't you? Of course you are. Here are a few things that have made me very happy lately:

I listen to NPR all the time. The other night while baking, I got to listen to a collection of Christmas stories (called "Tinsel Tales" - what were they thinking?!) Every one of them made me cry. In a good way. Give it a listen!

Speaking of NPR, it doesn't feel like a Saturday if I miss Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me on the radio. It is witty, topical and fresh. Except when it's not so fresh but still very funny (usually holiday weekends); then they do an historical version or a montage of old shows. This week? They did a retrospective of the election, including Barak Obama's appearances on the show - it was very, very good.

Mrs. Sundberg is a real woman (Keillor has stated flatly that she is not one of his pseudonyms) who writes a weekly column for the Prairie Home Companion site. I think she's pretty wonderful, in a neighbor-over-the-fence sort of way. This week when I read her offering it felt almost as if she's speaking for me ~ though she is much more eloquent than I regarding "Silent Night".

The webcams of Yosemite National Park are very cool. (Recommended for daylight hours.) My favorite is the Awahnee Meadow cam. I love to watch the light change over the course of an hour or a day.

I mentioned paper folding and cutting in yesterday's post. I learned how to make these great trees one morning a few years ago when I accidentally turned on The Carol Duvall Show on HGTV. Carol's show has been canceled and isn't even being rerun on the network any more, but it was fun to watch... sometimes hokey, but always charming and often informative and inspiring!

Christmastide: day three

Here's the thing: Christmas always comes, whether we are ready or not. It always comes. (And... it really doesn't matter: He came, is here with us, always.)

As far as the Christmas Spirit finding me, it did. It looks different this year, that's all.

Hardly any of the Christmas boxes were opened; the treasures are mostly still tucked away. There is no evergreen in the corner of the living room - where would it go? My red "chinese lantern" (I can never remember what that thing is called) is in the corner of the living room, and it's nearly 6 feet tall. There is an evergreen wreath on the door, though, so I'll still have some pine needles to vacuum. ;o) Instead, when I was at Trader Joe's the Tuesday before Christmas, I spotted a two foot tall potted white heather, kind of a conical shape. I put some battery-powered white LED lights on that, and it looks just like a flocked tree. It's sitting with the card basket, which is strung with silver bells that jingle when I walk past.

Presiding over the table with the tree and the basket: a golden angel, blowing a triumphant herald in a starry sky. In other years, I often set up Grandma Q's - umm... rustic - nativity set on that table. But again, it's still in a box. It's okay. The angel is an abbreviation: I know why she's there.

The cookie tins came out. I didn't bake a lot, but I made some little rum cakes, and about 4 different kinds of cookies - which were quite enough. Everyone really liked them. I still feel like I want to bake some more... maybe some M&M cookies for A. as a thank you for being a wonderful nephew to my brother DQ? New Year's ginger cookies? Somethin'.

Presents were wrapped: everyone got the same thing this year, photos! (Some were larger than others...) I got some nice feedback, and I'm trying to tell myself that that is not the reason I gave those gifts, but it is still nice to hear.

The Christmas music came out. First up: a few of the Windham Hill recordings. Not really inspiring enough, too subtle. Next: Kathy Mattea, Amy Grant, Michael Card, John McCutcheon. Good ones. I need to switch to something else tonight... maybe something playful... the Blenders, Take 6, Kenny and Dolly, John Denver and the Muppets? And the mixed tapes I made several years ago are in the car: 3 hours worth of (mostly) really good picks. Music helps.

One of the truly tell-tale signs of the Christmas Spirit: I started folding and cutting paper. White paper trees, green foil trees, and lots of snowflakes! There's nothing like unfolding a snowflake to kindle my happy place!

One of my humbug factors was that I got started late and felt like there was no time. I was scheduled to work all day on the 24th, which was not helping matters... Around 2 p.m. that day, I was unexpectedly set free given the rest of the afternoon off. I got to chat with a friend, stop by T's for a brief visit, fill up the tank, and still be home in time to watch Oprah and bake another batch of cookies. Feeling quite Christmassy - joyful - bouyant, I met R. at the church to help transform the sanctuary from Advent to Christmas. The deep purples and blues turned to white and gold, the baby, star and angels revealed! "We are so blessed to get to do this", I told R. And I really, really meant it. Mean it.

Back at church at 10:30 that night, Quartet rehearsed our "Star Carol" for that evening's service. The church was pleasantly full. People were dashing around, giving gifts to each other and lots of hugs and "merry Christmas"-ing. I was absolutely delighted when I saw A. come in the door, followed shortly by my parents and J. We all sat together. Last part of the service is, always, the very best: We pass the light from the Christ candle from one to the other, singing "Silent Night", until the entire church and every face is lit in glowing candlelight.

On any given year, it is a Christmas miracle if I can make it to the second verse without weeping. This was no exception. All I had to do was look around the room... This year, it was the kids who came home who put me over the top: my own, who have almost never been able to join me in church on the Eve because that is their dad's time. (Our service has been at 7 or so for years; this year it was moved to 11, which meant they could get there! Yay!) There was S., who hasn't been to church for a few years; she has always been dear to me, and was there with her folks and sister. Then P., who as a little girl sang "the Friendly Beasts" at the TOP of her lungs - from the pews, while the choir was performing it up front - was up from the southlands to be with her mom T. And my friends P&F, who have two daughters in college but only one was able to come home, were surprised by daughter #2 who arrived just hours before the service started.

It was just beautiful.

Christmas... it always comes.

points to ponder...

I'm working on this Advent/Christmas thing... and things are a little better, thanks. (I tried to respond to Bertamom's comment, but I've yet to figure out how to comment on my own blog. :o\ )
Meantime, this rang real true for me this morning:

...and then, there's this:

Advent Season

(photo by Peacebang)

I'm not sure when it happened, but at some point in my recent adult life I seem to have lost Christmas.

I've always been a Christmas Keeper. Love, love, love everything about this season: the cold and rain, the special foods, baking cookies, tree decorations, ALL the house decorations for that matter. I open up those Christmas boxes, and it's like greeting old friends to see such favorite things. I love shopping for - or making - the perfect gift, wrapping it in beautiful paper, placing it under the tree. I love the urgency and expectancy. I love singing Christmas carols and going caroling. I love Christmas music! I've got at least 50 Christmas CD's, quite an eclectic variety, and I'd play 'em all year if I could. I love singing in a choir, and in my Quartet, and I love going Christmas caroling. I love sending out dozens of Christmas cards, and receiving dozens more. I love cheesy Christmas movies on TV, maybe even more than the classics.

I love the Advent Festival (formerly known as "the hanging of the greens", but then we thought, what if the Green family were to come? the poor dears!) at church. I love the story of the birth of the baby king who would grow up to change the world and all of us. I love the candlelight service on Christmas Eve, especially the very last part when all the lights are turned off and the candles are lit from one person to another, and soon all the candles are lighting up every face in the church while we sing - I try to sing - "Silent Night" through my tears.

I love it all.

Yet it is December 19 and I am sitting in an apartment bereft of Christmas cheer, save a small pile of cards on the table and a Costco wreath on the door. I'm just not ready to DO it yet, and I don't know if I will be at this rate. I have not had a Christmas tree in my house since 2005. In 2006 I was too depressed. Last year, I had just started a new job and was too overwhelmed. This year... well, there are excuses I could use - had the surprise privilege of taking part in the Clay House sale, which really ate up the first half of December. The season has been short this year, too; just 28 days between Thanksgiving and Christmas this year. Money is really tight, being under-employed and just barely making ends meet (or not), so shopping is o-u-t of the question. But that's not it - or, at least, that's not the whole problem.

It's a lot of work to get Christmas out of those boxes. Put away the regular stuff, clean, tidy, put up the decor, step back and admire. But then what? I live alone... Truth be told, there is little actual pleasure in this sort of thing when there is no one to enjoy it with you. And I'd love to have you over, I really would, but there just doesn't seem to be room for a party. Not to mention... putting it all away again once January comes rolling in.

And then there's Advent. I count myself among a small minority who prefers to honor Advent - in church, at least - by not rushing Christmas before it's time for that baby to be born. To my frustration, I have not really come into the spirit of Advent the last few years, either. There has been little enthusiasm in it for me at my church for a while now. And without Advent, how can one enjoy Christmas? I don't know. I just feel as if, by insisting on putting Advent first before Christmas in my personal celebration, in these past few years I've missed both and end up somewhat empty-handed and empty-hearted when Christmas comes around.

I need... a new way to do this. Here's hoping for Joy to be found in this journey.

still full

The last seven days have been absolutely amazing. Some wonderful things have happened. Some terrible things have happened. I don't deal especially well with stress... the good or the bad kind... but I'm getting through it, I guess. Although I am not sure of the wisdom of calling life events "good" or "bad", it is easiest to describe them as such as I take you, dear reader, through the ping pong match that has been my past week:

• BAD: Wednesday evening, leaving work, I became quite ill. Too ill, in fact, to get the medicine I needed to be well.
• GOOD: I swallowed my (stupid) pride, called my dear friends B&K for help, and K. picked up my meds for me. What a blessing these friends are in my life!
• (VERY) BAD: Checking phone messages, I learned that my dear, former best friend Carolyn is on life support a whole continent away. She is not expected to recover.
• GOOD: Yet another dear friend, T., came to stay with me later that night, listened to my grief, brought me cranberry juice and generally soothed my sad and restless spirit.
• BAD: While in the throes of illness, got a phone call from brother DQ, to say that he was going in for surgery the next morning.
• GOOD: Turns out it is only eyelid surgery, and he wanted some ophthalmic advice.
• BAD: DQ was too sick to have surgery, and he's having a really rough time of it.
• GOOD: The poisonous snakes were not let loose from the basement.
  
• BAD: Due to aforementioned illness, was a full night's work behind in preparing for the weekend Clay House sale.
• GOOD: Had lots of good help from dear houseguest T., and was able to be ready in time.
• BAD: Still pretty weak from being ill, had to leave work early on Friday.
• GOOD: (getting tired of this yet?) Took a nap, recovered my strength a bit, and was feeling MUCH better by Saturday morning.
• GOOD: (fooled ya!) The sale was very successful - for a rookie - I broke even, and then some, saw my brother CQ and some good friends who came out for me. Less lucrative on Sunday, but I got to hang out with my kids which is always a good thing. I keep thinking about how happy Carolyn would be for me that this is happening.
  
• MORE GOOD: T. got the job! He is our new Director of Music at Bethany!!!
  
• BAD: Very, very tired and not getting enough sleep.
  
• GOOD: Christmas concert Sunday night was delightful! The quartet sang four songs...
  
• BAD: ... not sure if I sang them very well, though. I forgot all of the words to "Bring a Torch, Jeanette Isabella".
• BAD: No change in Carolyn's status by Monday. She's been unresponsive since the week after Thanksgiving. I had to tell my kids, who love her dearly, and all of our old singing pals that the heart of our group is passing from this life.
• GOOD: They really, really like me at work. It's very nice to experience that.
• GOOD: There is an employee craft show at work tomorrow morning, and just today I signed up to do it! This means - probably - more money in my pocket, and fewer cards to haul around!
• BAD: So I still have to get up in the morning, won't have time to go to the Farmer's Market, and have to "work" all day on my day off. Bummer! WHAT AM I, CRAZY FOR DOING THIS?! Possibly.
• GOOD: Christmas is 7 days from now.
• BAD: I am about 17 days away from being ready for Christmas.
  
• VERY, VERY GOOD: God is. Think I'll let that be what I think on from here on out.
  

Answer: well, it was full...

... and long, artful, sad, wonderful, elated, educational, tiring, reflective, musical and slightly profitable.

Question: how was your weekend?

After the rainshower yesterday, the poinsettias that N. placed outside were lovely with raindrops....

More later.

BEAR INVADES BEDROOM - victim survives

This is Cuppy. Sometimes she sleeps in my bed. She's cuddly and adorable.


I adopted her, with her twin brother Pyogi, when I was in Yosemite. (Pyogi lives with T.)

Well. This morning, I woke to this:

I can't say I haven't been warned about Yosemite bears. Thank goodness I emptied my bedroom trash before going to sleep last night! Something tells me that Toy Story might not be fiction after all...

yum yum

Sometimes it pays to have good raw materials in the fridge, and let me just say that I love Trader Joe's. Tonight I sliced up a shallot, and sauteéd that with some of TJ's frozen, chopped garlic (in those cute little cubes) in some olive oil and a little butter. Then I threw in about half a container of their fresh, sliced crimini mushrooms, cooked that down a bit, and added thyme, red pepper flakes and a lot of wine. Started the pappardelle (wide, long noodles, also from TJ's). Needed some green in the pan, so I grabbed the last of the Giant Bag O' Spinach from you-know-where, gave that a rough chop, and threw that in. Ah, perfect. Finally some medium, tail-on shrimp, cooked just until pink. Tossed in the pasta.

One big bowl. One fork. One happy KQ.

Now, on with the card making. Tomorrow's Friday - whee!

here's a plateful

I am working on a couple of exciting (to me) things right now. First up, I have been invited to Nancy's Winter Sale on December 12 & 13. (On two week's notice!) I'll be selling my photo note cards, and can take orders for photographic prints of any size. That's Saturday and Sunday, 10-4 in Montara. Of course, Nancy's pottery will be there as well, and you should get there early if you want the best pick of her stuff, because it sells quickly! My sister is so talented. And gracious to invite me to her annual sale. Contact me if you'd like directions or more info!

That very Sunday (Dec 13), is the Christmas concert at Bethany. There is no choir (yet!) but the talent at Bethany is vast, and I'm confident that it will be a lovely evening of music. The Bethany Quartet (that's my part) will be singing several selections, so come on by if you're in the neighborhood!

filler

Well, there's a lot on my plate right now, I guess, and it seems like I should be working at all that, rather than playing with a new blog. Change is in the air - again - and it isn't just that Christmas is coming! I'll tell ya about some or all of this a bit later. Until then, how about a pretty picture?


peace, KQ